Rules
At BitchYourselfThin, we’re all about humor, community, and accountability. All our content is available for free; come visit us and fossick around. But when you decide you’re ready for the accountability part–when you want to join our tribe for the bitching fun–that’s when you’ll need to sign up here and pony up our low, introductory subscription rate of $9.95 a month. That means you’ve signed on for us to help kick your plusher ass until it’s ever so much less plush, which we’ll do in a loving and life-affirming way.
After signing up, how do you become a Bitch Sister or Bitch Brother in good standing? Just follow these three rules:
One
Weigh yourself every day and report the number. Weigh yourself, come here, and record your weight as a comment in the Daily Check-In post.
We’re not saying you need to diet every day; hell, that’s up to you. Obviously, just stepping on the scale alone doesn’t make you lose weight–and we certainly can’t guarantee that anyway–but it will wake you up. We’d like you to plunk yourself on that scale, then tell us what you weigh, every single day. Why? Well, we used to give ourselves the weekend off, then what happened was that we’d go nuts eating and drinking the Devil’s Lemonade and gain back whatever poundage we’d painstakingly shed during the week. Samesies with birthdays and holidays. Trust us: There’s just something about knowing that you’re accountable to someone else every day that makes you not go so hog-wild.
Maybe you’re saying, Yeah, but yesterday I downed an entire Brach’s assortment like the truffle pig that I am, then Mistakes Were Made with a loaded baked potato, and I just cannot bear to step on that scale. We feel for you; been there, snarfed that. But this is exactly when you most need the Reality Check. Sometimes the damage isn’t as bad as you think; other times, it’s just the info you need to get back on track.
Maybe you’re saying, But I’m so fat and I don’t want anyone to know what I weigh! We are so not judgy here; we just want to hold your hand electronically as you go. And hard though it is to believe, your fellow Bitch Sisters and Bitch Brothers don’t care what you weigh; they care what they weigh. You can always pick a pseudonym as your log-in name. But we really do want you to pony up the number. No, nothing bad happens if you don’t, but we think you’ll help yourself more if you do. If you don’t groove on this, please go away and find another site. But before you flee, please read “The Number”.
The benefits of daily weigh-ins are that you get a feel for the inevitable ups and downs of weight loss, so you don’t freak out so much, and that others are there to comfort you when you get that crazy-ass temporary weight gain (“Two pounds in a day? WTF?)
Betsy tends to post around 10:00 EST; Janet an hour or two later. Normally, you’d enter your daily weight along with us. But maybe you’re one of those up-and-at-’em types who weighs in first thing in the morning, then it’s a headlong dash through your crazy day with no time or inspiration to post and/or bitch. If you can’t post first thing, it ain’t happening. So, fine: Just post to our previous day’s Check-In. No harm, no foul. Chronologically, you’ll always be a day behind, but intent-wise, you’re right on time.
We’re making this up as we go along and yes, we will figure out something about vacations and so forth. Likely we’ll set up a way for you to post from your cell phone.
Two
Bitch to us; be nice to yourself. No exceptions. This entire website is dedicated to the proposition that the only good thing about dieting is getting to bitch about it, so bitch away to all of us! But please show yourself some compassion. A friend recently told me that she’d read a profile of Monica Seles in Vogue, and that the take-home on this former number-one tennis player in the world was that “she was fat and she grunted.” “That’s how the world sees us!” my friend fumed. And then she proceeded to trash herself as a “fatty”. Game over on that, my friend. We all get frustrated, sure, when the diet stalls or we backslide; that’s an inevitable part of the process. So vent vent vent—but please don’t beat yourself up.
Three
Set mini-goals; reward yourself when you reach them. No exceptions. When you declare, “I’ve got to lose 20 pounds”, can’t you just feel your energy plummet? We’re all about mini-goals: the next two pounds, five pounds, some number ending in “0” or “5”. Decide on a fun, pleasing reward ahead of time—it doesn’t need to be bank breaking; a $2.99 African violet or fun pen will do if it floats your boat. (We strongly recommend Martha Beck’s The Four-Day Win
Trust us on this. Rewards work because:
- They give you something to look forward to that you can achieve sooner rather than later
- They prime you psychologically to pair effort with pay-off
- They keep you from “rewarding” yourself by hoovering up everything in your immediate surroundings, thus neatly self-sabotaging all your hard work
- Hell, you deserve it!
We’re working on some fun “reward charms” that’ll go next to your name when you log in, just so’s the whole BYT world can applaud your progress.
Disclaimer
Our lawyer made us put up a disclaimer. Here it is: We’re not doctors or health professionals in any way, shape or form. This site does not constitute medical advice, and it’s for informational purposes only, most certainly not for diagnosis or treatment of any weight- or health-related issues. We cannot guarantee results for you. We can only tell you what has worked for us, and set a few rules for how you are allowed to use the site.
We believe in slow, steady weight loss and healthy weight goals. We specifically discourage the use of any weight loss program or tool for a pro-ana or pro-bulimia lifestyle, which we see as harmful to your body and soul. We’ve gone so far as to put logic into our system that prevents you from tracking your weight more than once in every 24 hours. You must be at least 18 years old to use this site. Please please please—stay with us here, don’t flake out—talk to your doctor or other qualified health care professional and work together to figure out a healthy weight for your body and a healthy way to achieve that.
If you just read over that last paragraph as a lot of blahblahblah, please go back and re-read it. Seriously: You need a medical professional to check you out. Trust us; Janet’s breast cancer was diagnosed blessedly early because she got the right check-up at the right time. I have a chronic illness that could definitely affect my weight if I didn’t take care of myself. There are plenty of medical issues that can cause weight loss or gain; your doctor is the right person to determine that and help you work out a healthy solution. And just because a weight loss technique or supplement works for someone else, whether we mention it on this site or not, doesn’t mean it’s the right move for you; again, you and your doctor need to make that determination. Don’t ever disregard your doctor or health professional’s medical advice because of anything you’ve read on this site!
It’s the nature of this site to yak about dieting and weight loss tips, techniques, and supplements. We make no representations or warranties about whether these work as described, are accurate, reliable, safe, or sensible. BitchYourselfThin is not liable for any damages resulting from how you use or misuse the content on our site.
So always work with your doctor while you Bitch Yourself Thin. And while you’re at it, stop reading those fashion magazines with the fifteen-year-old models with the spring-loaded gazelle legs. Let’s get teens back to babysitting, lifeguarding, and working at A&F, the way God intended, instead of staring back out from Vogue, silently beseeching us for sandwiches with a side of lasagna while simultaneously making us feel like crap. Oh, and watch “What Not to Wear”—we heart Stacy London and Clinton Kelly SO MUCH because they’re all about dressing right for where you are RIGHT NOW.
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