Today’s weight: 140.4, down two pounds. As Janet predicted, train service has resumed with a vengeance. (And why is that, anyway? I had lotsa fruit, veggies, and fiber-rich foods in Africa, so why the train strike? This propensity pretty much scotches my future as a globe-trotting nomad unless they can gin up the functional equivalent of a Camelbak for home toilets.)
I’ve been reading over everyone’s posts, and I’m detecting a thread. We’re all a little fearful of the upcoming holiday season–that’s Thanksgiving through New Year’s–either armoring up for a presumptive WWIII against pecan pie or anticipating a wholesale surrender and hoping the prison cells will be large enough to accommodate our poochier asses. And I’m wondering whether that’s leading to this subterranean idea that, we-ell, New Year’s is practically upon us; ahead lies inevitable defeat but we can always fight the good fight in 2010. And when I read about Janet putting the BodyBugg on her Amazon wishlist, it hit me. We need to be more selfish. Right now. We need to stop putting everyone else’s needs and wishes first and pay a LOT more attention to our health and well-being immediately. The better we treat ourselves, the more able we’ll be to help everyone else anyway; what’s so selfless about ending up exhausted and run down? I’m going to write more about this in an Essay of the Whatever, but as of today, I’m calling for a new movement, one I’m calling “selfishlessness.” It means that today each and every one of you–yep, including you BYT lurkers–must commit to buying yourself something that makes you feel energized/motivated/better about yourself while on your BYT journey. Janet: I want you to order that BodyBugg TODAY. Yeah, I know it’s fekkin’ expensive; you’ll figure it out. And what about the rest of you? What will it take to give you a little extra oomph to go into the holidays feeling positive and on track? A motivating book? A great workout outfit or sneakers? A session with a personal trainer? Tell me what it is, and promise me that you’ll commit to putting it into your life right away.
Okay, Mama Bear life coach Betsy is done and gone. Here comes gym monitor gleanings Betsy:
* Mammogram mayhem: All the morning shows are going bat shit crazy about the new screening guidelines that recommend a first mammo at 50, not 40 (and Janet, I can imagine how you feel about this!). GMA had its three experts on; consensus is new guidelines are bullshit and based on only one new major study.
* Does he shiver your timbers?: Jack Sparrow, aka Johnny Depp, is a repeat offender as People’s Sexiest Man of the Year. (Robert Pattison got the nod as Sexiest Undead Dude.) Call me when it’s Tom Colicchio and Duff Goldman; I’m thinking a threesome with awesome appetizers and dessert.
* Lip tips: Early Show is searching for the perfect lips; great footage of stars’ filler lip slips (yeah, talking ’bout you, Lisa Rinna!) They also reviewed non-injectable solutions. I tried one of those plumpers; it felt like a swarm of Africanized killer bees sat on my face; I ended up in massive pain with a Ronald McDonald leer.
* Plastic for your wish list: GMA’s Mellody Hobson is plumping gift cards for the holidays. Costco sells a $50 card for $39.99. Many companies are cutting the bullshit “dormancy” and maintenance fees. And a lot of them let you pool money for a single card, and personalize it with a photo.
* Antifreeze in his Starbucks: Newlywed Dalia Dippolito was caught on tape allegedly trying to hire a hit man (really a cop–oops) to off her hubby after supposedly failing twice before to iron him. Hope the happy couple finished writing all their thank-you wedding notes before because otherwise…awk-ward!
Today’s weight: 168.5, up an expected pound. That’s okay, I’m going to take Betsy’s advice and order the BodyBugg. But, but… which one is the one that Jillian recommends? I’m so confused. This is what I get for shutting off my satellite television service and taking up knitting. Oh, wait. I am on a truthfulness campaign because I’m weary of Kirby’s constant lying. The truth is that I stopped watching television when I went away to college in 1976. Gosh, that was a long time ago. I’m not particularly proud of living a television-free lifestyle, it just sort of happened. More often than not, I feel a cultural gulf between myself and the rest of the world, who can quickly name the female trainer on The Biggest Loser (it is Jillian, right?)
Anyhow, I’ll go figure out which BodyBugg and order it. What I’ll do about Kirby’s lying is yet to be determined. I already rescinded video game playing privileges for the day. (See, it’s not that we don’t have televisions. We just don’t use them to watch TV.)